dear Dr. love,i separated from my husband almost two years ago. we were living in ca. and i loved it and i had friends and was making a very lucrative living. we moved to florida and i hated it and i was completely ignored, so i left to go work in my hometown because i couldn’t make a living there. in the meantime, i met someone else, who, for the first time in my life, made me feel loved. my husband desparately wanted me back and wanted to make everything up to me. we married when he was 21 and i was 29. we were married for ten years.i have been back and forth for the last year not wanting to let go of either one of them. during all of this mess, i went from being completely independent to living off my savings feeling worthless and severely depressed. i feel like my family hates me. my mom has always been mean to me even as a child because she was so miserable in her marriage and i really resent her for it. they thing i’m stupid for leaving my husband. i really don’t feel like i ever want to b e married again.one of the main reasons why i wanted to go with my husband was because of security. i’m back with the boyfriend now, but i feel numb and i hate myself for everything i’ve done. i really want to move to a place where i can make money again, which would be a big city. i can do it here, possibly, but it would take a good three years to get going. my boyfriend says i’m acting irrationally by wanting to leave but i feel like i’ve wasted three years of my life. i just want to run away by myself because i really do like being alone.i cry every day and night and have shut off the world and my family (they never call to see how i’m doing) and all the things i used to enjoy. i’ve been this way for two years. i feel so desparate and i feel like i’ll never get over all of this hurt. i don’t know if it’s mid-life crisis or what? i’m going to be 40 soon and i feel like i’m going to spend my 40th birthday crying in my wine. please help. i can’t call Dr. laura because she’ll yell at me.thanks, diane.