Short of buying a crystal ball, I can’t imagine how on earth you can see into the future or the past.Rather than focus on trying to stop your thoughts or answer an impossible question, it would be good for you to figure out why you are obsessing about this question. In most cases people wonder about whether a former relationship would have worked out when the one they’re in isn’t working. You say that the one you’re in is working and that you’re madly in love with your partner. So, that ‘s clearly not the reaons why you’re wondering.Could it be that you suffer from what I call, ‘The grass is always greener’ syndrome. By this I mean, are you the type of person who always yearns for something else. If you’re here, you wish you were there; and if you’re there you wish you were here. This kind of yearning is often caused by a specific childhood wound.Specifically, if you were frustrated as a child and never felt satisfied, this would lead you to feel that something is always missing in your life. In which case, no matter how great your life is going, no matter how much you love the person you’re with, you will still feel empty and yearn for something more. This would then lead you to pine over the ex.Your unconscious mind is actually fueling the fantasy that maybe life with your ex would actually fill the void inside you. Of course, it can’t and won’t. I will tell you that your wondering about whether you’d be happier with the ex isn’t different from someone who was emotionally starved as a child who feels empty as an adult and keeps thinking that having more money or more or better sex will fill the void.As you can see, the real issue here is a feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction that stems from an earlier deprivation and nothing and no one can ever erase that void.The only way to get past the void is to heal the wound that caused it. To find out if I’m correct about your having felt deprived as a child, reflect upon your childhood and ask yourself if you felt the way I describe.If you did, then work through those feelings by recalling all the times in your early life in which you felt empty, frustrated or cheated. Allow the feelings to come up and, if possible, have an imaginary dialogue with the parent or parents who let you down.Tell them now what you didn’t verbalize then.As you work through your feelings from the past, you will find yourself less yearning for greener grass and less obsessed with the ex.
