hey there Dr, hope you’re doing well. There’s a guy, 11 years older than me and a family friend. An important member at church. I’ve had a crush on the guy for the longest time, about a year and a half. It didn’t just come out of nowhere, i mean guy, literally led me on, he would always react to my posts, leave complimentary comments, all those first move typa thing but he wasn’t saying anything directly, he was moving slow. So I decided to tell him, confess and it was so natural. He told me he feels the same way and that he just didnt know how to tell me. Cool, so he started phoning to check on me, try to set a date to meet however that never happened. Two weeks after constant calls, he ghosted and I didnt try to get in touch either. One Saturday, he phones to tell he’ll be coming to my local church and hopes to see me, I was like cool. After church, he takes me home, we spend about an hour together talking about how “us” came about and where to from here, we didn’t really get anywhere. He leaves, I phone him later that day just to check how he travelled, if he got home safe, he didn’t answer my call, he never returned the call. That was beginning of December 2021, when we last spoke. Late June 2022, we meet at a church camp, he tells me we need to talk. Cool we talk, he tells me he doesn’t really have a valid reason for ghosting me and all, also low-key told me he’s in a relationship but he dont wanna let me go, dont wanna lose me. He’s very gentle and loving towards me and he makes sure to show it to the world. We spend the night together, next morning, we go to the morning prayer. He didnt talk to me the whole day, tried to talk, he mized me. Following week, we meet again, he apologizes tells me, he’s just been busy but we’ll talk later on. We didn’t and again I try to call him, he does not answer. That was the last i heard from him. End July, we travel together to some place for a church gathering, we don’t talk cause his friend was there. We get some alone time, he gives me that assuring hug, he tells me im such a good person and very responsible however we can only talk about our “situationship” when im ready. I’m really confused, I dunno what to do or think really. There’s times where I feel like he’s just toying with me and there’s times where i feel like the love is there and it’s genuine, it’s just the circumstances that are blocking this to happen officially. It’s close to 2 years now and there’s not a day I do not think about him. I feel and strongly believe he’s the one for me, my husband, father of my kids but it’s just taking forever to unfold. He’s such a good man, very gentle and manly. Loving and caring, family orientated and very smart. I believe we’d make great parents and a good couple. I just dunno what to do from here. Is it me, am I just living a fantasy or is patience really virtue? I really need your advise on this one. I’ve exhausted all my options.

Dr Jamie Turndorf Answered question September 1, 2022