Dear Doctor Love,I need your help doctor. I really need some good advice. The main topic is about a girl that I have known for quite sometime, one that my feelings go out of control for. We dated for awhile this summer but we didnt let it work because we were going in different directions for college.Its so hard to describe her and how much i feel for her. I’ve never met a girl that has ever made me as happy as I am like when I’m with her. In my heart she seems so perfect. So perfect in every aspect. I love how she is and everything that she does.I’ve told her my feelings, and she has told her feelings about me to me. There is a connection, but she just wants to wait for a little while to figure out college before she gets into anything serious. Shes told me she likes me. Shes told me that there are feelings for me to.Every day gets harder and harder for me because I long to be with her so much. I’ve cried so many times because I can’t have her. She even told me that I am the only guy who she can be herself around and that she can tell me anything. Sometimes we see each other and we fall asleep cuddling each other.Recently I told her how I feel, and it made her cry because it made her feel so good inside. I don’t know what to do because I need her so badly in my life. I pray night and day for my one chance. I cry too much and I want to stop crying myself to sleep every night.I miss her so much and I need her right now doc. . I dont know what to do. Please, I’m desperate for anything good. Im so alone. I dont want to be alone anymore.
Your letter is so sad. Reread it and you will see that you sound so starved for love and affection. The love you have for this girl, sounds in many ways like the total love that a young child has for his/her mother. Mother is the center of the child’s universe and nothing and no one else exists but her.When a young child is separated from his mother, he becomes completely desperate (the way you sound) because the mother is his entire world. Without mother, the child’s life seems over, just the way your life seems to be.It sounds to me like you didn’t have the right kind of connection with your mom when you were young. The result: there is a starving young boy inside you who is desperate to connect and be emotionally fed.I’m afraid that your girlfriend can’t heal the wound you have suffered. You are going to need to work with a therapist so that we can help the poor little boy inside you who still cries for his mother. When you have worked through this early pain, you won’t need to have your girlfriend by your side in order to stay mentally afloat. You will be able to be apart without being destroyed and you will be able to enjoy her company without having such a devouring need.Don’t wait to get help.