Dear Dr. Turndorf,I need your help I have really messed up a good thing. I have been with my current boyfriend for 3 and a 1/2 yrs. He is in the military and I met him when I had a brother in the military who passed away suddenly.I was in a bad marriage and had filed for divorce. Well anyways, 18 months ago I followed my boyfriend to Maryland. I’m from Vermont I love this man with my heart and soul.He was married twice before and those marriages ended because his wives cheated on him. To make a long story short there were some personal family issues going on with my grandfather’s health, my mom’s health, my ex being demanding about seeing our 5 yr old daughter and I started smoking. Why I don’t know.I tried and it felt like a release and I know it was stupid. Well a week ago my boyfriend caught me and decided that day that it’s over between us that it’s not going to work. We planned on spending the rest of our lives together and now I’m paying a big price. I know that it would be hard to gain his trust again but I really feel that this can work.I made a big mistake and realize I must take responsibility for my actions but he wont talk to me and says his mind is made up. Now we are not kids he is 44 and I’m 42. I don’t know what to say or do to have him not give up on us.I can’t see myself with someone else and he has been very good to my daughter and me. When I have talked to him or tried I’m begging with him to not give up on us and feel it pushes him away further.I need your help please.