Hello, i was wondering if i could get any help with a relationship problem that i have. Any help will be appreciated. Im 22 and have been with my girlfriend for five years now and i love her with all my heart. I would do anything for her and i plan on marrying her in a couple of years (4-5yrs).For the last few months we have been arguing alot and i havent been very happy. I’ve wanted to take a break and tell her for the past few months but she once told me that if we ever break up that would be it and i have never wanted to take that chance.I live in LA and just recently i met a girl down in san diego that i hung out with and had a lot of fun. I didnt do anything with the other girl but i had the most fun i have had in a long time. In five years i have never thought about another girl never wanted to go out or do anything with another girl until now.I dont know what to do, i want to take a break with my girlfriend but i dont want to feel like im taking a break just to hook up with the girl from san diego. I just want to go out and have fun and experience life single for a little bit i have the rest of my life to spend with my girlfriend.Am i being selfish, or should i give it a shot and tell her i want to take a break. I dont have anybody to talk to so i would appriciate your opinion anything you tell me will help a lot.Thank You
You are twenty two and have been with your girlfriend for five years, which means that you have been together since you were seventeen. I can understand your wanting to have more experience with single life.What you need to determine is whether your wish to experience single life isn’t being fueled by your recent conflicts. In other words, when you were getting along better, did you still have the same strong urge to play the field?In reading your letter, it sounded like you were telling me that your wish to take a break was related to your conflicts, since you didn’t seem to be feeling the urge to exit before the relationship became strained. If this is so, then you would be wise to work on resolving your conflicts and see if your wish to flee diminishes.Keep in mind that your lack of conflict resolution skills are going to interfere with any new relationship you might establish. So you would be wise to learn how to resolve your issues with your girlfriend in any case.My book is a good place for you to learn how to do just that. From what you tell me, taking a break will be the same as saying goodbye, since your girlfriend said that she won’t take you back. Since you love her so much and say that you want to be with her forever, it would be a safer move for you to work on this relationship first and foremost.If you still feel like being free after you are getting along better, then you can make your decision at that point.
