hello Dr love,i have read many of your responses and they are all very good, but i havent found the answer to my question. please help me. i met this guy and fell in love with him. he was great for a year. he brought me flowers and told me im beautiful and he loved me. we tlaked all the time. we were best friends it seemed.then his priorities changed. 6 months later he got so mean. he started yelling at me and cussing. i cried all the time. after we brokw up i had depression. i am better now but it still haunts me. i think abut him all the time. no matter how hard i try i cant get over it.. i have wished on every star, nothing works. i returned all of his things.oh yeah, the worst part is now he acts liek it never happened. he is so mean to me. he has replaced me with this girl he used to hate,. hes so mean to me. how can he say he loves me one minute and be so sweet and the next he laughs at me for crying. it makes no sense to me. i can be fine and hear a sad song and just cry all over again. all of my poetry is abotu it. i cant get over it. i have a wonderful boyfriend now but i need to get over the worst year of my life. i had my herat broken by this guy and he acts like he doesnt know me. he refuses to tlak about it to anyone. please help me forget it all. please try anyway. lsincerely, i hate to love him
The way you signed your letter makes me wonder if you still love this guy ( I hate to love him). You also speak about his replacing you with a girl you hated, which wouldn’t bother you if you didn’t still care.It isn’t clear whether you want to get over loving him, or whether you want to get over the pain that still haunts you from that relationship. You need to be clear.In any case, since you want to get over this guy, I think you need to focus on how mistreated you were by him. And, it sounds to me like you never had the chance to tell him so. Perhaps this is a good place to start. And, I think that your depression and grieving would lift if you told him what you think of his behavior. You write him and letter, and the purpose of this letter is not to make him feel sorry for you, but to give him hell for what he did through a series of observations.Such as, your behavior was terrible, you were verbally and emotionally abusive and cruel. Laughing at someone’s tears is evil. He acts like he never knew you, like a hit and run artist. You could tell him that there is a label for the problem he has–sociopathy–. You could tell him that a sociopath has no conscience or consideration for other people’s feelings. They usually wind up as criminals of one sort or another.By getting the poison off your chest, you should begin to heal.Also, another place to search. When we can’t let go of a wound, oftentimes, we are unconsciously reminded of core hurts from childhood. So, whenever you find yourself unable to let go of a feeling, if a feeling haunts you more than one day, look into your history for parallels. When you find out what old hurt the current hurt has rekindled, oftentimes the mind can lay the current hurt to rest.Good luck. Let me know how you make out.
