my wife told me that she does not love me anymore:-(we have been married for 2.5 years and have a 9month old son. I thought i had the best life in the world because my wife is the best and i love her more than life. I work hard 75-90 hours a week so she can have a nice house and every thing she need. all i need is her to get me through this life. she has tore down my life with this news. be she at least has not left yet. ipray every night and try to show her my love for her but it seems to get me know where.she does not work and spends most of the day on the net chatting with other men and sharring her feelings with them and not me, I DO NOT belive in the big D and never will i am trying to get her to think the sameway. i am going to fight for this relations ship but i just do not know what to do right, so i am turnig to you. mabey i can get something good out of the net other that a new man for my wife.
You poor man. It is so painful to hear that the one you love doesn’t love you any longer.You sound like the picture of a devoted husband–loving, extremely hard working, devoted, etc. You said that your wife has told you that she doesn’t love you any longer. Many people fall out of love for various reasons, but they don’t behave cruelly to their mates. Your wife’s behavior is sadistic. Chatting with other men under your nose is like sticking a knife in your heart.When someone is punching you in the jaw, the last thing you want to do is kiss their fist. What I mean here is, the more cruel she is to you, the kinder and more loving you are to her. By doing this, you are telling her, go ahead abuse me some more, I’ll keep rewarding you for beating me. We must never reward someone for mistreating us.Telling her you love her again and again, causes her to treat you worse and worse. You will never win her back by doing what you are doing.Before we go farther, you need to understand why you are so willing to tolerate such mistreatment. Why do you want to stay with someone who doesn’t appreciate your love and hard work? Why do you accept such contempt (she throws away your love, and flirts with others under your nose)? I am not telling you to leave. I am suggesting that you examine these questions and try to understand yourself better.The pattern of awarding an abuser oftentimes begins in childhood. When a child is raised by parents that are unloving, neglectful or unappreciative, the child’s natural response is to try harder to win that parent’s love. When the child is unsuccessful, he or she assumes that it is his fault that love isn’t offered, and, he or she tries even harder to be good. This pattern inevitably resurfaces in that person’s adult relationships, and, without knowing why, the formerly abused or neglected child finds himself chasing a spouse that doesn’t reward them with love.If you look at your relationship with your wife, one can almost see a sweet little boy trying so hard to win his parent’s love, and never succeeding.If you obtain nothing else from me, I want you to remember that the more you reward your wife’s terrible behavior with loving words, the more you will make sure that she continues dumping on you. Hear me now. The pattern of doing more and more for someone that doesn’t love you back didn’t work when you were young, and it isn’t working now. In fact, this woman will never respect or love you until you love yourself.If you loved yourself as you should, you would feel outraged by her behavior and demand that she treat you with care and consideration. Which means, appreciating you, not pursuing other men under your nose and agreeing to work on this relationship with you. If she finds that she can’t rekindle love feelings, then, she must have the decency to release you. Not stay with you, using and abusing you all the time.I hope you find the courage to demand more for yourself. You are a devoted man and husband who deserves much more. No one should be treated with such contempt.
