Dr love, Please advise me on how to save my marriage.I’ve been married for nearly 3 yrs and we are both 51. My wife has been married twice before. Sex has been difficult from day 1, my wife says she was abused by her first husband. I have tried my best to understand her and love her very much. I cannot kiss her and put my tongue in her mouth, give or recieve oral sex, touch her intimately, or really let go as she prefers things to be over quickly.Sex has now become less than romantic and a ritual that takes place about every 2 or 3 weeks, and only on a sunday morning. I have always been a spontaneous person and I have a good sex drive. I feel angry and rejected.She has also been through the menopause since our marriage. She refuses to discuss her past or seek counselling and I’m left waiting for it to happen at the same time when she feels ready.My wife has also become obsessive in the way the house and my possesions are arranged. She will arrange my books in pyramid style, and follow me from room to room tidying up and checking if I have left even a book on a coffee table for 5 mins. If I empty my pockets on to my bedside table, within 5 mins she has piled the coins into a pyramid shape.What can I do to stop her underminding every decission I make. The desire for any physical contact with her is beginning to deminish, and resentment is quickly taking over. Please advise.