Dear Dr. Love:This is the question that goes through my mind every day. Do I leave or do I stay. . .I have been married for 6 years, this is my 3rd marriage and I carried much baggage into this marriage. I don’t deny that. 4 years ago I came to the conclusion that it was time to toss out the baggage as it was to heavy. I did just that. My eyes opened up to a new world. Problem was it was too late for my wife, she ended up and was in a hot affair with now what is a ex-friend of mine.I look back at it and even though I wasn’t the best husband I wasn’t bad enough for her to have an affair. I wanted the marriage to work and sat down and talked with her about it. Telling her that we can make it if we both try, it would be hard but worth it.I am the cook in the relationship, she doesn’t know how to cook. I am the cook, cleaner, laundry person, and I even do windows. I am a person that beleives that sex is just sex but making love and romance can keep a relationship moving to the next step. Sex gets boring but romance and making love is exciting.My wife has no romance in her. I can make a romantic night with a candle lite dinner (crab legs, lobster), put some romantic music on, put my tux on and server her a great meal, clean it up after and sit on the love seat after with the lights down low and the music still going and talk with her and hold her and listen what she has to say. This does nothing for her.When we argue she will argue about everything but the problem which is our relationship. I can tell her what I need in it, and it is something that she can easily do but doesn’t. SHe has to sleep at least 10 hours a day and works 3rd shift. This doesn’t make for much time together. I am tired of trying to make this marriage work.SHe will wait till I am at my most depressed state of mind before she will even agree to have sex. Sometimes it’s 2 and 3 months. After she came home from her affair it was 1 year before we had sex. It is very disturbing. I find mow that my love is fadeing fast and all the other women in this world are looking much better then they did before. I ‘m not appreciated for what I do nor am I rewarded romanticly. She wants a friend not a husband who goes beyond friends.I have been told by her ‘sex means nothing to me, I get nothing out of it. I have never had a orgasim during sex with anyone and never will. My reply to her was ‘It isn’t the orgasim that counts, it’s the fun you have or make out of it, it’s giving of yourself for the love of someone else, I don’t look at it as it’s time to have an orgasim, I look at it as it’s time to please you and make you feel good. ‘ But this don’t go too far. It’s all in the way she looks at things, totally negitive. SHe doesn’t love herself so she cant really love me.Now then the question is how should I handle this. Another woman would love to have a man like me and I don’t think it would be to hard to find a woman that I can please and grow in love with. But this woman I am with refuses to grow unless it is a boring, no sex, one way relationship. Love is as beautiful as a big red rose, just as painful; if handled wrong.thanks HURT ‘N BAD