Last year I went out with that guy and he was absolutely beautiful! I was so in love with him. We went out for 5 months. I’m a teenager so that’s a long time for me.Anyway, he was my first love. I broke up with him because of my family, they didn’t like him at all. So, I stayed away from him for about 4 months. Then we started talking again. We got back together 2 months ago. Now, in the time that we were apart, I was still very much in love with him. I mean, I broke my own heart when I left him.But anyway, now, I don’t get to see him that often. We live in different towns, we can’t talk on the phone because I’m not supposed to be around him, so I have to talk to him on line. I thought I was still in love with him. And I know that he loves me, but he doesn’t love me as much as he thinks he does. He was telling me about how girls are hitting on him and he likes it and all that.But anyway, I’m falling out of love with him. And I want to! I feel so bad because I really want to not love him!No w my problem is, how do I break up with him again? I don’t want to break his heart again, but I don’t love him anymore. I love him, but I love him like he’s my best friend. How do I tell him that I’ve fallen out of love with him? What should I say? I’m so afraid of how he will be after I tell him. And it’s not just that I don’t love him, but because I like someone else. And I won’t cheat on him. So now I have to break up with him. Then I can be with the person I’m after.How do I break up with him?
You are a very sensitive and considerate person. Anyone that is initiating a break-up needs to be thoughtful of his or her soon to be former partner’s feelings. And, no matter how hurt or angry or estranged we have become as a couple, we still need to handle the break-up in a way that spares the other person’s ego, as much as possible. Even in the most tactful break-ups, the person that is dropped is left feeling bruised and diminished.So, here is how you can break-up and protect your friend’s feelings. First tell him what you like, admire about appreciate about him as a person.Tell him what you have gained by being involved with him. Then, tell him that your needs have changed and that you find that you are no longer compatible. The goal here is to put the responsibility on yourself (say, I have changed, I need something different) rather than point the finger at him. If you point the finger at him and say that he can’t give you what you need, then he will feel defective.So, put the problem on yourself, or on the universe (we have grown apart, our needs don’t mesh any longer).So, in a nutshell, you want to recognize your ex.’s good qualities and then spare his ego by speaking about yourself, your changing needs.And, never point the finger at him.Thanks for this excellent question, which will help so many people.
