I was away from the object of my affection for two months. When we returned to school and she saw me for the first time she instigated a conversation, gave me her number and we made plans to hang-out together.It wasn’t a very eventful or exciting evening, but we got a chance to hang out together and talk – only we weren’t alone – she brought a guy friend with her. With two people it would have been an intimate bonding experience in the comfortable confines of my dorm-room, but with three people there was more pressure to entertain and less opportunity to talk one-on-one.My question is: did she bring the guy along to check me out, or to keep me at a distance? And if she is just playing it safe how do I convince her to spend some alone time with me?
What a clear question. It’s so short and sweet and very clear. The only way for us to be sure why she brought along another guy is to get inside her head and/or ask her.The act of bringing along a friend can say many things from, I am shy, to I want to be friends and nothing more, to I am wary of getting too close. The only way you’re going to find out what exactly gives with her is for you to initiate a visit with her.I suggest the following approach. Say, ‘I enjoyed our visit so much the other day, and I would like to get to know you even better. Would you be free for dinner (or whatever you feel comfortable suggesting). ‘ If she hesitates, you can pick up on the resistance and say, ‘It sounds like you’re hesitating. . . ‘ and then see what she says.Opening a discussion will give you more information and then you will know how to proceed. She’s a lucky girl to be pursued by a guy like you.