The path that you are planning to take is a no no. To manipulate another person into doing your work for you isn’t the right way to behave in a relationship.I sense that your wish to get him doing the dirty work is motivated by your wish to avoid feeling guilty. If you break up with him yourself and hurt him as you know you will you are going to feel guilty.It is healthy to feel all your feelings, even the negative or unpleasant ones. It isn’t healthy to behave in a way that helps you avoid feeling your feelings. Getting him to do the leaving is an example of your engineering the situation so that he can help you avoid your guilt.A big step ahead for you will be to do what you need to do for yourself and feel guilty all the same. But before you break up, you need to be clearer on why you want to break up with him. You say you love him so much, so I’m not getting why you feel the need to break up.Once you are clear on all of your motives, then you can take action. If you decide that you do indeed want to break up, then end the relationship cleanly. Take responsibility for your wishes. Tell him that you had to fight the urge to get him to break up with you so that you wouldn’t hurt him because you love him.This isn’t an easy thing that you are about to do. Face your feelings, including your guilt and you will become a stronger and better person in the process.
