Hey Dr. Lovei really need advice about this. See me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months and we love each other to death but see we didnt go to the same schools so when we did see each other we would watch a movie go to the mall etc.But when we was together he wouldn’t hold my hand or anything he says hes not shy but when he’s around me his mind goes blank is there anything i can do to make him feel more comfortable around me.
When the mind goes blank, it’s as if the mind goes to sleep in order to avoid feeling something that is too dangerous or scary. To figure out what he’s afraid of feeling, ask him, ‘What do you think you might feel if your mind didn’t blank out?’ Ask him if he’s afraid of becoming too close or intimate? Ask him if he’s afraid of being rejected?Just get him talking and the fear will unfold. As he speaks about what he’s afraid of, the fear will gradually diminish and you will find that the symptom–the blanking out–will fade away.
