There is this guy John who I am in love with but recently he told me he won’t date me. . . ever. . . Needless to say it broke my heart now I want revenge.I was thinking about going after his best friend and that would make him jealous but I don’t like his friend. . . at all. So I want to hurt him the way he hurt me but I don’t really want to hurt him because I still love him. . . I am deeply depressed over this. . . What should I do. . . I feel like if I can’t have him then I don’t want anyone else. . . and he isn’t even that great. . .He is ugly and he is what we call a gutter rat. A poor person who doesn’t shower daily or change their clothes. So what should I do?Please help me. . .
You have been terribly wounded and your hurt has turned into rage.Now you want to act on the rage by getting revenge. I know you think that acting out your anger will help, but it won’t. Above all you must behave in a way that you can be proud of, no matter how angry or hurt you are.While discharging your anger may bring temporary relief, allowing yourself to misbehave will do great damage to your self-esteem and in the end you will be doing more harm than good. You must tell yourself that you can feel hurt and angry, but you must not act on your feelings by engaging in any destructive behavior.The reason you are having such difficulty in getting past this incident is because it has ripped open a wound from your childhood. Somebody rejected you and broke your heart and you’ve never healed from the wound. When a wound festers inside us, the mind is desperately looking for a way to heal.So when you suffer a mistreatment that is similar to what you suffered as a child, your mind jumps on the band wagon and uses this as an opportunity to release all the old pent up feelings. When you find yourself deeply upset and unable to let go of your feelings, you know it’s because you’re dealing with an early wound that ‘s needs attention.If you sit quietly and ask yourself what this rejection reminds you of from your past, I think you’ll realize the link. Allow the memories of similar past experiences to surface and allow the feelings to surface as well. Cry, rage, and above all have an imaginary dialogue with the person who hurt you way back when. This is how you will heal the original wound.It is this healing that will enable you to let go of this man and move on. By the way, because you haven’t healed the early wounds, your mind will lead you to choose men who will inflict the same harm on you that you suffered as a kid, precisely because your mind is looking to heal the old wounds.So, not only will the exercise I described above help you to heal your early wounds, it will also free you from the need to keep choosing bad partners in the future.So do the work I describe and get ready for love.
