My girfriend and i have been going out for a good two years and i have just been informed that she performed oral sex on one of my best friends.This happened last summer and we have been through a lot since that has happened. We have worked our relationship to being perfect and then i found this out.I have talked to my friend and I have forgave them both on the incident. I told my friend that I will never trust him again. But, for my girlfriend i know i still love her, but how am i supposed to trust her.Please help me on this situation, before i make the wrong decision.Thank you
Wow, talk about a double whammy. Betrayed by your friend and your girl.I notice that you are quite categorical about never trusting your guy friend again. But, it sounds like the jury is still out when it comes to your girlfriend. How come you will consider forgiving her, but won’t forgive him?Realize that I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t forgive her. I am just pointing out the disparity in your position.As for trusting her again, before you decide whether you will or won’t, you need to find out a lot more about why she did what she did. You need to have her talk to you about why she thinks she behaved the way she did. How was she feeling toward you? How was she feeling about the relationship? How was she feeling about herself?What you want to look for is a sense that she has a clue about her motives. If she is clueless as to why she behaved as she did, then you are right to worry. If she can give you a meaningful explanation, then your next step is to ask her to commit to talk about her impulse to be unfaithful, if it ever arises again, and not act out.If you can get this commitment from her, and you feel confident that she is trustworthy enough to maintain such a commitment, then you can decide whether you are willing to trust her again. You need a lot more information from her and lot more confidence in her ability to control her behavior before you can extend your trust.
