On Sunday I went out on a semi-blind date with an incredibly gorgeous girl. The date in many ways seemed good, but I never seemed to feel comfortable. We finished dinner at around 8:30 p.m. and we were discussing what to do next. I gave her some options and then politely excused myself.When I returned she said that if I promised to do something with her again would it be ok if we were to call it a night. I said sure and I took her home.When we got to her place she invited me in for a few minutes. Before I left I told her to give me a call if she wanted to get together again. I said goodbye and left.I really dig her but I am not sure if I will have another opportunity to see her again. Is there any way I can increase my odds or ‘smooth out’ some of the rough spots during our first date?
In reading your letter, I picked up the fact that you are behaving passively. When you ask if you will have a chance to see her again, can you see that you see the decision as out of your hands, as though it’s up to the fates to decide! What you need to see is that by waiting for life and life to happen to you, as if by magic, you are surrendering your power along with your chances for success. Yes, you have a lot of chances with this girl, if you actively go after her!Before you go after her, find out why you are hanging back. Are you afraid that this woman doesn’t truly like you (since she cut the date short)? Are you afraid to be rejected if you pursue her? It was my impression that this girl does like you. She made you promise to see her again, and she did invite you in.When a woman isn’t interested, she doesn’t behave this way. For all we know, she cut the date short because she was constipated! In this life, we get what we go after. We are the authors of our fateSo, figure out what makes you hang back rather than taking life in your two hands (fear of being rejected?) and work to resolve it. Nothing that you achieve in this life falls in your lap. There is struggle and risk. People who are successful, face the risks and challenges head on. This is easier to do when you learn toinsulate yourself so that the disappointments aren’t shattering. For example, you can remind yourself that you are a winner for taking the risk. The outcome is secondary. Just go for it. What do you have to lose? If you do nothing, you will get nothing.As for making your dates go smoothly, learn to be a good listening, ask interested questions and you will ace your dates and melt their hearts.
