Dear Dr. Love,I heard you give some excellent advice on the radio the other day, but I was distracted by the kids, etc. so I didn’t get it all. I wonder if you could repeat it on your website. The point you made was this: wives should give their husbands sex and respect; and husbands should give their wives three things – put them first in your life, treat them nicely, and I missed the third.I mentioned it to my wife and she thought it sounded great, but I want to be sure I am trying to meet all three of her important needs that you outlined. Thanks.
Your wife is so lucky to have a husband who invests himself the way you do in their relationship. I give so many talks and interviews that I can’t remember which show you are referring to. But, I will give you my pointers again.The Three Things Men Need:1) Sex2) A Special Type of Respect: Appreciation. Women are good at telling men what they do wrong, but we are weak on appreciating men when they say and do what we need. The best way to encourage behavior is to reward it with praise.3) Wives Need to Calmly Express Their Needs: Many women bitch over what they aren’t receiving instead of calmly telling men what they need. Try it, it works.The Three Things Women Need:1) To Be Number One: Yes, women need to feel like their mate’s number one. But, what makes one woman feel like number one, will make another feel like pond scum. So, you need to ask your mate what floats her boat. For some women, it’s flowers, for others, a piece of jewelry. I often suggest to wives write a list of all the things that their husbands (boyfriends) can do or say to create that number one feeling. Then, men can freely choose from the list and ‘surprise’ their ladies once a week. The key is: men must take the initiative to say and do the things that make their women feel like number one.2) Treat Them Nicely: This means consider your wife’s feelings and regularly check on what she needs and wants.3) Learn to Listen to Her Feelings: Men must learn to listen and understand their wives feelings and stop being defensive. But, women can help men to listen, by keeping the discussions cool by not screaming and yelling.
