My boyfriend and I have been going out on and off for over 1 year. Im 6 months pregnant with his child and he wants me to give the is baby up. What should I do? He says if I dont give the baby up he cant be with me and there is nothing to work out. Does he really love me like he says he does? We have sex alot and is he just using me?We are very young. Please get back to me . Thank you!
I am very sorry to hear about the bind you’re in.I am afraid that yourboyfriend isn’t treating you properly. When he tells you that he willdrop you if you don’t give up the baby, he is blackmailing you. He istelling you outright, give up the kid, or lose him. What kind ofbehavior is that!In a healthy relationship, neither partner powerplays the other. By power plays I mean using threats of any kind inorder to force the other partner into complying. You have a right toexpect your partner to sit down with you and discuss all your thoughts,feelings, wishes and options.I know he is young and thinking ofhimself and his future. But, what about you? How can you hope to have arelationship with someone who doesn’t consider you? If you choose togive the baby up in order to keep him, what do you think will happen toyou?You will be telling him that he call steam roll you, and force youto go against your will. You will never have a sense of self ordignity, if you give him this kind of power. At this point, you need tofocus on you. Find out how you feel about the baby. Do you want to keepit? Put it up for adoption?Clarify what you want, independent of him.When you figure that out, you can go to him and tell him that hismanner of dealing with you is unacceptable. That you expect him to openhimself to your feelings. Tell him that no relationship will ever bepossible for him, with you or anyone else, if he continues to flex hismuscles and strong arm his partner.This is a very tough place for youto be in. It is hard enough to be young and pregnant with yourpartner’s support, let alone find yourself without his support.Pleasego and talk to a therapist before making any decisions. Believe me whenI tell you, the choice to give a baby up, or keep it, will affect youfor the rest of your life.You need to be sure that you are making theright decision for you. You don’t want to be haunted for the rest ofyour life with guilt for having not followed your heart.Let me knowwhat you decide and how you make out.