A couple of months ago I innocently asked a girl from my gym who had a boyfriend to go paddleboarding with me because she wanted to learn. Anyway we got on really well and over the course of the week kept meeting up alone to swim and paddleboard. Eventually I told her I couldn’t go on seeing her alone as I realised I like her. Surprisingly she said she felt the same. Anyway we kissed and ended up having sex.

She then broke up with her boyfriend and moved a bit away to live with her parents. But I still see her regularly at the gym, we text everyday for two months but meet up less regularly. She is so busy at the moment and has a lot going on with her break up etc as they had two houses to sort out. She’s going to be moving to within 5 mins away from me in a couple of weeks.

The main issue I have is although we get on so well, she still wants it to be a secret I’m seeing her so I haven’t been able to tell anyone as we go to a CrossFit gym everyone knows eachothers business. But she definitely says she also doesn’t want a relationship at the moment and wants to be by herself. Yet she stayed and mine last week (again we had sex) and the strange thing is she rings me everyday (sometimes twice). She says because she is too busy to meet up at the moment she just enjoys speaking to me. I really like this girl and obviously want her to be my girlfriend so do I just carry on and wait it out or tell her to stop ringing me unless it’s to meet up but then I may lose her?

Not sure how I should play this.


Dr Jamie Turndorf Answered question September 8, 2022