Hello,This might be a ever day problem for some but to me its new. i have been dating this great women for the lat 16 months. for the first couple of months we had alot of foreplay and other things in that matter.but then after that it stopped. she nows says thats something she doesn’t like to do. she has not done anything with any other guys so all of this is pretty new to her.i ask her about it all the time and try to show her it can be safe and fun! Well it seems everyday i am just annoying her with always trying and want her. do u have any sugg. on this??
This is a frustrating situation. The best way to approach her is to ask her if she notices that there has been a change in the level of foreplay, that is that you had lots in the first couple of months and then it stopped.If she agrees that there has been a change, then ask her why she thinks this is. The goal is to have an open discussion in which she doesn’t feel pressured by you. As it stands now, you are caught in a power struggle, and the more you press her the more she resists.So for the time being, take the heat off of her and focus on gaining an understanding of the problem, why it developed, and so on. Until you talk openly you are aren’t going to have a clue about what is wrong.It is possible that she never had a great desire for sex but that she, like many women, may have fallen into the trap of hiding her true desire (or lack thereof) in the early days in order to cement the relationship. Then once the relationship was a sure thing, she may have felt safer to be her true self.If this is true, then we would want to know more about why she doesn’t have a normal level of desire. Was she molested as a child? Is she depressed? Does she fear intimacy? Is she unwell physically?All these questions need to be addressed and evaluated. If you feel stuck and need some help, some couples therapy would help. Good luck.