I have been great friends with a guy for about 6 months. I’m a pretty self-conscious person, but around him, I feel very comfortable and relaxed. I’ve never felt this way about a guy before.I realized the other day that I have feelings for him. I was completely jealous when he was with another girl the other day. He claims that he doesn’t have feelings for her.How can I let him know I have these feelings without hurting the friendship?
You mentioned that you are gay and that the guy you’ve fallen for is gay too. I wondered why you mentioned this, other than to let me know a bit about you and your heart throb, and I am glad to know whatever you want me to. My point, however, is that being gay has no effect whatsoever on the fix you’re in. In fact, straight people find themselves in the same bind as you, and the way out of the bind is the same whether you’re gay or straight.You need to talk about your feelings. In this case, you are afraid to ruin the friendship, so convert the feeling into a question to be explored by both of you. Ask him, ‘Why do I have the feeling that our friendship could be in jeopardy if one of us developed romantic feelings for the other?’Once your issue is on the table, you can talk about it without putting your neck out too far and declaring your undying love to someone who isn’t interested in more than friendship. As you talk, you will get a sense of whether he is also interested in you.Then, using your instincts, you can decide whether to pursue the discussion further, by admitting your feelings for him, will be the right way to go or not. Let me know how you make out–and hopefully you will!