My story is an interesting one. I met my, until very recently, girlfriend this past July on the internet. We slowly grew to caring for each other past friendship. In December i realized my true feelings for her, that i loved her. I told her this, and to my surprise she said that she loved me as well. She lives in New Jersey and i live in Maryland. It is about a 3 hour drive, but we were never able to meet.Not a day went by that i didn’t find myself loving her more and more. Her father was against us meeting anf made it virtually impossible for us to meet. Come this past March, we could not bear the wait any longer. She asked me to go to her prom and of course i said yes. After much elaborate planning we met for teh first time after knowing each other for 8 months. When we met anyone could feel our love vibrating from us as we held each other every moment we were together. We slow danced for 2 hours at her prom, not stopping for the upbeat songs that were being played. We did not care what was being played, we just wanted to hold each other.When i returned to Maryland i was shocked when she told me that her feelings had changed for me. She said that she did not love me anymore and broke up our relationship. I was devastated and still am. It is only 2 days after this had occured as i write to you. I am not a functioning human being anymore. I can not eat nor sleep. I don’t want to interact with others.I was so sure that this was the real thing, my one true love, but perhaps it was not meant to be. I don’t understand how she can say she loves me and then have one weekend together change her feelings towards me. Do you have any advice on how to get over such a tremendous loss? I would appreciate greatly any advice you would have to offer.
I am very sorry to hear what this girl has done to you. How cruel.You asked what is the best way to overcome such a loss. There are two things that you can do. Talk about your feelings with anyone that cares about. Cry, rage, express what you feel. Don’t keep the feelings inside. This is how a person becomes depressed.You also might try writing her a letter in which you release all your feelings toward her. Tell her how devastated, hurt or angry you are. Tell her unacceptable her behavior is. Even if she wanted to end the relationship, she owed it to you to do so in a caring way in which she makes room for your feelings and feedback. What she has done is an act of psychological murder. And, after she killed you, she dropped the smoking gun in your lap and took off.Much of your torment comes from the fact that she made a one-sided decision and handed it to you. You have not been given the opportunity to discuss your feelings with her.I think that if you don’t allow her to get off so easily and make her hear what you think of her behavior, you should feel better. It is hard enough to be dumped. But, to be dumped without being given a chance to talk and share your feelings is hell on earth. So, talk your feelings out, write to her. And, let me know how you’re feeling in a couple of weeks.Meanwhile, make sure that you force yourself to eat and do what you need to do to keep your strength up. If needed, try a little St. John’s Wort to take the edge off your pain and depression. But, as I said, the more you get the feelings out the better you will feel.You are an absolutely delightful person, capable of loving and caring and this woman did not treat you properly. Whatever her problem is, know that it is not about you. Keep in touch.
