Dear Dr. LoveI’m 45, He’s 41 both divorced and dating each other for 2 years. We agreed to have a monogomous relationship last year and become’boyfriend, and ‘girlfriend’.Lately he has been mentioning female friends that he visits. He tells me about parts of their conversations which are mostly about relationships with their men. He gives them advice and tells them things that I am surprised to hear him say. For example: If you want to go out with someone else, go, there is no ring on your finger’. These so called friends are supposed to have’Boyfriends’too.If he feels this way, then what I consider our relationship to be which is special, is not. I mentioned this to him, and he told me’If you want to go out, go, I’m not trying to run your life’. Is he trying to tell me something. It is very difficult for me to read between the lines, because I don’t want to misinterpet what he is saying to me. On the other hand, I don’t want to miss a message and be a fool.I need advice on what is going on.
You have no need to read between the lines. When he says, ‘If you want to go out, go out, ‘you are being told that you are free to date others.I think you need to ask him what he is telling you about where you stand. Does he consider yours an open relationship? Does he feel free to date others? I would keep asking him questions until you are fully clear on where you stand.You may be dating a man who has a commitment phobia or fear of closeness. The only way you are going to know for sure is to ask him. Neither of us can presume to read his mind. If he gives you vague answers, press him.You have every right to know where you stand. You must protect yourself above all else.
