I’ve been dating a girl for about 2 months now. I felt like we were the perfect match. She liked the way I was and everything. And I liked everything about her.She told me how much she loved me and wanted to stay with me. And now all of a sudden she said, ‘she’s confused with her feelings and thinks she sees me more as a friend.’I don’t understand what ever happened and need some help on what to do.
No wonder you’re mystified. This girl’s feelings fluctuate more than a weathervane in a windstorm. There is no way for you to understand what is going on inside her head. I don’t think that she, herself, has a clue.All you can do is ask her some questions, which, may help her to clarify what’s going on inside her head and heart. If she figures it out and agrees to share her thoughts and feelings with you, then and only then will you have a glimmer of understanding.Start by telling her that the rapid shift in her feelings, has upset you and that understanding what happened will help you to work through the shock. Tell her that she doesn’t sound clear herself on what she’s feeling, and then ask her if she would be willing to work with on figuring out how she feels and why.Reassure her that you aren’t trying to pressure her to come back to you–although I think that would like that. Rather, you just want to make sense of what happened for your sake and for hers.If she agrees to examine the situation with you, then start by asking her to examine when she first noticed the change in her feelings toward you. What was happening in her inner emotional life and in her outside life when the shift occurred.Did something happen at school or work? Did something happen in her family? Did she become afraid of the feelings that she was developing for you? Is she afraid to become too close and did she withdraw to protect herself from the feelings that were coming up as a result of your closeness? What was happening in your relationship when the shift occurred. Was there something that you said or did that prompted the shift in her feelings? Was she angry with you and not aware of it?I have given you lots of avenues
