Dear Dr. T:I am a single 52 year old man who had a 10 year love affair with a married co-worker. Six years went by before I realized she was not going to leave, but by then I was too in love to act on it. During the last two years of our affair she became cold & unloving, and I had to leave to survive.It’s been a year since I have seen her, so the affair is over. I saw a therapist and gained a lot of insight into why I would remain with a married woman for 10 years. I do not blame my former lover for being who she is, and I have accepted the fact that I allowed myself to stay in the affair when I should have left.I want to move on and find someone who is willing to share a whole relationship. But when I approach women, I don’t feel confident. I start conversations, but I feel self-conscious, sometimes uninteresting and ugly. I haven’t always felt this way.Nevertheless, I suck it up and still attempt to meet women. So far, all strike outs. I’m starting to feel sad & wonder:’What’s wrong with me?’ Of course I want to believe I’m just not attractive. I think I’m smart enough, I read, cook, have a great career, I’m in prime athletic shape.Could it be that I’m not really over the relationship and that I’m putting out an ‘unavailable’ or ‘wounded’ vibe? If so, what do I do to stop that? I truly feel I deserve a good relationship with a good person. Even if they don’t pan out, what could be in the way of simply getting a few dates? Thank you.