Dear Dr. Love,The problem I have is with age, I am seriously thinking about dating a girl that is 5 years younger than me, She is 15 I am almost 20. I would be dating her now but she is torn between me and my best friend. My best friend introduced me to what he calls his ‘sex toy’.I really like this girl and want to tell her but I also don’t want to make my best friend mad. About the age thing, she the girl always dates older guys never as old as me but 17 or so, and her mother doesen’t care, and has told me so, this question isn’t as much as about age as about friendship. Thankx. . . Distraught
You said your question is about friendship. Do you mean that you would like to tell this girl that she is nothing but a sex toy to your friend (it sounds like she is unaware of this fact), but that you hesitate to betray your friend? If the above statement is true, then you are probably wondering how you can date this girl, without ruining your friendship with your buddy.If what you say is true, and this girl is nothing but a sex toy to him, perhaps he wouldn’t mind sharing his ‘toy.’ In which case, you might ask your friend how he would feel about your seeing this girl too. He’ll probably be willing to share with you since she seems to mean little to him.In handling the issue in this way, and obtaining his permission before seeing her, you will avoid trouble in the short run, but, trouble will likely appear down the road. Soon, she will see that you have real feelings for her and aren’t out to simply use her, like your friend does. And, if she has half a brain, she will drop your friend and only date you. In which case, you will probably end up having a confrontation with your friend after all.So, basically, all we’re talking about here is dealing with the inevitable confrontation with your buddy, later rather than sooner. If you opt for the later choice, at least you have a chance of saving your friendship with this guy since, you didn’t outright steal his girl; you asked his permission first.Another alternative is to be up front with your friend and tell him that you have real feelings for this girl. If she is only a sex toy to him and your friendship is very important, he might be willing to find another toy and let you date her. This is a touchy situation and it is ultimately your call as to how you want to handle the situation.I know you want to maintain this friendship at all costs, but I keep wondering why. This guy sounds like a serious user. If he uses women, sooner or later, he’ll use you. By the way, if you do end up sleeping with this girl, please make sure you practice safe sex. We know this girl is sleeping with your friend who uses women and probably sleeps around on his ‘toys.’ I hope you get the girl. Let me know what happens.
