I have an interesting problem. I am 28 years old and my boyfriend is the same age. We are both healthy and both above average in looks. I believe that when we make love I satisfy him (I sure hope I do). And as far as holding hands, kissing me, and spending time with me he seems interested in me.But he won’t have sex with me. We have been together a year and the most active period I was getting it twice a month. Now I have had sex twice in the past three months. I am at my wit’s end.I love him dearly but I need sex. I don’t know how to make him interested in sex and I don’t know how to not care that he isn’t . I have tried every superficial way I can think of.Anything the chick magazines mention, I have tried. He complained once that my room was dirty and it made him uncomfortable. I keep it spotless now. But he has only seen it twice since this, because he has only come in twice. What can a girl do?
You are in a tight spot.Have you asked him to talk about why he isn’t interested in more frequent sex. Does he have no sex drive? Does he masturbate? I would ask him these things because the answers will inform us as to the nature of his problem.If he masturbates, for example, then we know he has a drive. In which case, his lack of sex with you either indicates a lack of attraction to you (I doubt this is the case) and/or a fear of intimacy.By holding back sexually, he is able to maintain emotional distance. Fear of intimacy can itself be due to a fear of being engulfed or taken over by a woman. Fear of intimacy can also conceal a fear of being abandoned, so he may hold back in order to protect himself from the pain of being dumped.My Personality Profile consultation will help him flesh out the exact nature of the wound he’s suffering from and then provide him with step-by-step guidance to heal the wounds that are detected.If he doesn’t masturbate and he has a very low drive, then I would have him see a urologist specializing in sexual dysfunction. Very low levels of testosterone are associated with low sex drive. Go on a fact finding mission and figure out the cause of his problem.Above all, don’t try to trick or manipulate him into having sex. If his testosterone is low, pressure tactics won’t fix the problem. If he’s afraid of intimacy or abandonment, pressuring him will just send him running the other way. Rather, identify the wound and heal it according to the instructions I provide in the Personality Profile.
