Dear Dr. LoveMy relationship of 9 months recently ended because my ex-boyfriend admitted to not loving me, though he liked me a lot and wanted to continue dating me.He also said he was pretty sure I wasn’t his life partner. We had been having relationship talks for the past 2 months because on Valentine’s Day I was upset at him for falling asleep after dinner, when I was looking for a bit of ‘romance’. Once he woke up we talked about it & I forgave him. . but that night I kept having a lot of anxiety.So the next morning, I told him how I am nervous about our relationship and was unsure. That though I am nervous at the idea of a committed relationship I would only date someone that I felt ‘may’ have the ‘potential’ for a long-term committment, since I am 29 and would like to settle down in the next 3-4 years.He was very sad ’cause he thought I was about to dump him. I told him that ‘no, I just want to see that we are on the same page as far as what we thought about dating & relationship. I love you and don’t want this to end. I just wanted to express my feelings and see how you felt about our relationship.’My Ex told me that that conversation really ‘changed’ things for him ’cause he wasn’t thinking that seriously, though he did think I had potential up to that point. . he suddenly felt a pressure to ‘know’ if I was ‘the one’ or not. I tried repeatedly to reword my previous statements, that I didn’t need to ‘know’ he could marry me. . but I needed to know he saw a ‘potential’ otherwise I felt like we were both wasting our times.After Valentine’s he needed a lot of space (we saw each other only when he felt up to it) and said he constantly felt like he was on eggshells around me ’cause he did not want to upset me. But at the same time he said I made him really happy & he thought I was great but he felt he wanted a ‘serious dating’ relationship and wasn’t sure if we were compatible because I needed more attention and time than he felt comfortable giving.Strangely, before Valentine’s we were spending a good amount of time together in my eyes. I was hurt for feeling constantly rejected because of the little time we were spending and also feeling angry that my needs weren’t being met. But I knew he needed space so I gave it to him for a while. . but I felt 2 months was more than enough.So this past week when I asked to spend some more time with him & he still felt uncomfortable, I asked him ‘why’ and he said he felt badly ’cause I always ‘gave’ love in this relationship & he never did anything & didn’t feel a need to do anything for me lately & he had to ask himself why that was. This led him to realize that he did not think I was ‘the one’ and he didn’t love me.He said he lacked a spiritual connection with me, but he still liked me a lot & would be ok with ‘serious dating’, but knew that I wanted more & that by continuing this I was settling and I shouldn’t ’cause I could find someone that could satisfy my needs better than him. This prompted me to bring up the topic of breaking up (which I have brought up in the past 2 months a few times ’cause he was say these things & then say ‘he still saw hope’).But this time he claimed he was ‘sure’ that things would not change. . so I said I thought that meant things were over between us. I clarified that this was not what I wanted but I could not keep my dignity and self-respect staying with a man that did not want to make me happy and saw no future for us.What I am thinking now is: did I bring up the serious talk too soon? When is a good time during dating to talk about your future hopes, while clearly stating they were just ‘hopes’ and you weren’t asking for a proposal within the next year. I also felt hurt that after 9 months with me he never felt love for me. . was I expecting too much?Also, my family feels that I was impatient with giving him ‘distance’ and that if I just waited he would’ve come around and things would have worked. I’m not sure if that is true. In all honesty I think things could have worked out if Valentine’s day never happened, but it did.I still love my ex very much & really think that we may be right for each other. But he is convinced we aren’t. Is there anything I can do to try to work this out without losing my dignity?I want to be happy and not ‘right’. He seems to feel what we did was ‘right’. . but I am not happy.