Dear Dr Love,I think I am going crazy. I am a 59 year old woman married 33 years. I never had orgasm by intercourse. All of a sudden I want sex 3 times a day.My husband has had prostrate surgery, and even tho he has viagra, is scared to use it. Consequently, I have been masturbating myself into orgasm, but 1 orgasm is just the beginning. It seems as tho I could masturbate 24 hours a day, and have results.Every time he leaves the house if for more than a few minutes, I masturbate and have orgasm after orgasm. I cannot seem to stop, looking for extra chances. I really could do it for several hours at t time, enjoying it all the time. I would not think of having an affair, but am desperate for a partner. Anyway, all of a sudden, I have become sex crazy, at my age. I seem to think my sex life is on the waning end, and don’t won’t to miss out on this pleasure. I got the hormone implants in Oct, and just this month started having these feelings.Am I crazy, or what can I do. I tried to bring up the subject with my husband, but he is not interested (I think he thinks it is a taboo subject, or should be). He is 10 years older than I, and only believed in the missionary position. I have talked to him until I am blue in the face. His answer is: next time. which never comes.Any advise or help.Desperate
I think that you are quite furious with your husband. It is also quite possible that buried rage is causing your brain to misfire. All kinds of physical symptoms can result from buried feelings, especially buried anger.You say that you’re in debt because you gave him all your savings and that because you are now out of work, you can’t pay your bills. You have asked him to pay you back some of the money you gave him and all he does is attack you for being impatient. I’m surprised you haven’t blown a neck vein by now!The reality is you’re being mistreated. Your husband has taken from you, but doesn’t want to give back. Even if he can’t pay back the entire loan, he should be offering to help you out so that your bills are paid and your credit is preserved.What’s wrong with this picture? I suspect that you find yourself in this bind because you have been mistreated since you were a young child. This would explain why you tolerate his misbehavior–abuse is so normal to you that you take it in stride.I’m telling you that you are not to be mistreated any longer. He isn’t allowed to flourish at your expense. Your bills need to be paid and they need to be paid by him. We will consider this payment of your bills as his ongoing payoff of his loan to you.Stop asking him when he’s going to start paying back the loan. Simply put your foot down and tell him what you expect. You will continue to be mistreated until you do this.If he balks, go straight to a marriage counsellor and lay your cards on the table. He will soon discover how unacceptable his behavior is and it will find it difficult to get away with what he’s doing once a third party is on to him.