Dear Dr. Love:I am a senior high school student who’s had my first love two years ago. After I’ve broken with my first girlfriend, I began to hate girls and I won’t pay attention on girls who show her love to me. When I first entered my new class, I found a nice girl. She’s not very beautiful but she has a mature thought and anybody who interacts with her will find out that she’s such a gorgeous babe.Day by day, I realised that I really like this girl. I don’t know why but she is such a lovely and friendly girl. One day, my friends asked me to join them for iceskating and at the same time, the girl joinned. But then this happened. She came with my friend and they are holding their hands together and kissing each other passionately. They seemed very close and anybody has a thought that both of them are now boyfriend and girlfriend.My heart was broken into pieces at the time and what I wanna do at the time is commit suicide because this girl is really the one who’s in my heart. I love her more than my first love or any girls. She is different. She has waken me up that love is still essential for us and now I’ve just realised that now I couldn’t even forget her. She is so important to me and I love her so much but why is this happening ? I don’t know what I should do to erase her from my life forever. Please give me some advice!Desperate
I think that you are quite furious with your husband. It is also quite possible that buried rage is causing your brain to misfire. All kinds of physical symptoms can result from buried feelings, especially buried anger.You say that you’re in debt because you gave him all your savings and that because you are now out of work, you can’t pay your bills. You have asked him to pay you back some of the money you gave him and all he does is attack you for being impatient. I’m surprised you haven’t blown a neck vein by now!The reality is you’re being mistreated. Your husband has taken from you, but doesn’t want to give back. Even if he can’t pay back the entire loan, he should be offering to help you out so that your bills are paid and your credit is preserved.What’s wrong with this picture? I suspect that you find yourself in this bind because you have been mistreated since you were a young child. This would explain why you tolerate his misbehavior–abuse is so normal to you that you take it in stride.I’m telling you that you are not to be mistreated any longer. He isn’t allowed to flourish at your expense. Your bills need to be paid and they need to be paid by him. We will consider this payment of your bills as his ongoing payoff of his loan to you.Stop asking him when he’s going to start paying back the loan. Simply put your foot down and tell him what you expect. You will continue to be mistreated until you do this.If he balks, go straight to a marriage counsellor and lay your cards on the table. He will soon discover how unacceptable his behavior is and it will find it difficult to get away with what he’s doing once a third party is on to him.
