Dear Dr. Love,I have been reading your advice for some time now and would like your feedback on my situation.I was married for 11 years to a very successful man who was a workaholic. He also was very controlling, emotionally distant and quite a bit older than me. What seemed exciting at first, the posh parties, traveling the world was great but unrealisitic once we had children. Though I still attended many things with my husband it was never enough and in time, he was rarely home except for weekends. We went for counseling and I realized in time that I never really loved him but loved the lifestyle.Because I began to build an independent life without him (since he was rarely around) I began an intense affair with a handsome, intelligent man that I had befriended. He also was married. We have been on-again, off-again lovers for the past year and a half. My problem is that after we are close (emotionally or physically intimate) he withdraws from me for extended periods of time. He will call to talk to me weekly, and will always mention getting together, but half of the time we don’t get together because he backs out only to call me again and ask if he can see me. Though the sex is very good, many of our times together have been non-sexual.Though I am separated from my husband, (I did not separate because of the lover) I am not ready for a committed relationship with anyone at this point. Yet, I love this man and value our together times. I am not sure why he withdraws so frequently. He has told me he feels terribly guilted, is torn but wants to be with me. Any suggestions?Confused and hurt