Dear Dr. Love,I am sure you have heard of the Saying ‘You want what you can’t have’. Well, as an eighteen-year old senior I have experienced this. I meet this particular girl two years ago, and I became good friends with her. However she wanted more than that. I did not. As the months passed I started to have feelings of attraction towards her. My views changed and I decided I wanted to have a relationship.Well to make a long story short it now turns out I am the one who desperatly wants her and she is ambivalent. Even after communicating all my feelings to her about the way I think she says she just wants a friendship now. . . My questions are: Why do people act this way? Are we to immature to sustain such a relationship? Is there any way to salvage this relationship? (Generally speaking. . . I haven’t given you much information because there is just too much)Confused about Women
It sounds like this girl was hurt by your refusal and is afraid to care again and be let down. That explains her motivations.Now, what can you do to change her mind? You can tell her that you understand that she may have felt hurt by your earlier refusal. And, you can also tell her that your refusal had nothing whatsoever to do with her, or your not liking her enough. It had to do with your own fears of getting close, which you have worked out.Good luck. I hope you get the girl. Let me know.
