Dear Dr. Love. I am in a bit of a dilemma.You see, my 23 yr old twin sister and I both really, really like the same man who is part of our new circle of friends. Being twins we are really close, but due to this problem we have started competing for his attention and the sibling rivalry and bickering has started!It seems like a loose/loose situation: we both desperatly want to go out with him, but we know that only one of us can and that the other one will be devestated and hurt. This will strain our relationship and will also affect the cohesion of the friendship group which we both are in.We both really like this guy but know only one of us can go out with him!! What should we do!! It all seems so complicated!PS. We think that he has feelings for one of us, although sometimes he does send out mixed signals. PLus, my twin thinks he likes her better while I feel the opposite!Help! Your advice would really mean a lot! Thanks Competing twin
This is my first ‘twin’ question, and I thank you for bringing this question to me.You guys are really in a bind, and you are right that there is no perfect ending here. The only thing that I can think of is for you and your sister to talk with each other and come up with ideas on how to resolve this problem amicably. Fighting over this man could destroy your relationship with your sister, which we don’t want to happen.You can draw straws, flip a coin, and leave the matter to chance. The other choice is for both of you to back off and let him decide. Let him be the bad guy instead of either of you two falling into that trap. He will probably find it very hard to decide, since you are both probably similar in many ways.The other thought that I had, which would take the decision off of all of you and place it onto more objective territory would be to use my compatibility test. Unfortunately it is being upgraded right now, so I can’t offer it to you as an option right now. But do check back, it will be up and running any day now.I think this might be a way to get you out of the bind. Because the test is accurate, you could agree to abide by the results, allowing the higher Compatibility Score to be your guide. I wish I had an easier solution for you.One thing I know, fighting over the same scrap of meat (and, yes, I do mean that literally) is not the way to go.