I had a 5 year affair with a married man. He was married for 37 years and I for 26 years. We loved each other. We both knew where we stood with each other, what to expect from each other and promised not to cross the lines.We both had good marriages and wanted to keep them in tact. He was in a high profile position in our community. He knew my family and I know his.For the last 2-3 years there was not a lot of sex. Because of his position we could not take any chances being seen together. So our affair consisted mainly of phone calls, talking a social functions, longing looks and stolen kisses.At the age of 59 he had a massive heart attack and died instantly. I had teased him about not taking care of himself and me waking one morning to read of his death in the newspaper. Had my daughter not heard of his death and called me late one night that is exactly what would have happened.It has been six weeks and I am coming to terms with this but I am so depressed I want to cry all the time. I have explained this depression to my husband as being caused by other things in my life (death of family, illness in the family, empty nest syndrome). what can I do to get beyond this overwhelming depression?My heart is breaking for his wife and children as well. I think the world of them but I am afraid to offer my sympathy for fear of loosing control of my emotions.