Dear Dr. Love,I ‘m in the middle of a huge dilema. I’ve been going out with my girlfriend for 5 months. We have been extremely close up until now. We even lost our virginities to each other. However, lately we’ve been fighting alot, and I haven’t had anyone to talk to.However, my best friend’s girlfriend, Danielle, came to my rescue and we became great friends. I have found myself falling in love with this girl and she has expressed the same feelings back. And just last weekend we snuck out of our houses at 2 o ‘clock in the morning and spent the night together. I feel really bad that I cheated on my girlfriend, but my feelings for Danielle are stronger than my feelings for my girlfriend. I also don’t want to hurt my best friend, even though I want to follow my heart. I ‘m just not sure whether following my heart is the right thing to do. Please help me.
I don’t think the question for you is whether or not you should follow your heart. You seem to follow your heart quite easily and, what’s more, you tend to act on your impulses too readily. The issue isn’t whether you should break up and start over with your new love.I think your issue is this. You need to learn to not act on your impulses and instead must learn to resolve your issues with whatever girlfriend you are with. If you find that a relationship can’t work, you need to make a clean break before starting over with someone new. I think you feel guilty about about having cheated on your girl with her best friend. Guilty feelings are appropriate in this situation. Your behavior wasn’t proper, and you know it.Now, the ball is in your court. Obviously, you can’t force yourself to stay with a girlfriend you no longer love. But, beware, if you date this new girl, you will get into fights also. And, this time around, you will need to work these fights out and not act out (run to someone else. ) This is a tough skill to learn (to deal, not escape, ) but necessary if you ever want a lasting relationship.
