I have been seeing a woman for approximately 4 months now, and we spend a lot of time together every day. We are both in our early 50s, each divorced. We both want a lasting, and loving relationship, and are willing to invest the time and effort to have a good relationship.I like her very much, but I do not feel that I am in love with her. She seems to be very attracted physically to me, but I do not feel a physical attraction to her.I was first attracted to her after a long night of conversation, and we are lovers now. But I still do not feel that physical attraction that a man feels for a potentional mate. (I do feel the attraction around certain other women, but I am not dating anyone else.)My question is: Can a good relationship be established without that attraction? Thank you
This is a great question. You need to clarify what type of relationship you want to establish. There are couples who choose companionate love, in which companionship is high on the list and passion and lust are not a part of the scene.I see you gagging at the mere thought of this. This is because, I think you are looking for romantic love, which includes a strong dose of sexual attraction and passion. If that is the type of love you are after, then you won’t be happy with simple companionate love.I will say that it is possible for sexual attraction to develop over time as the level of attachment and connection builds. Do you think that you could develop a sexual feeling for this woman?If you think that there is a chance, then you might want to give yourself some more time to see if things starting looking up (and I do mean that literally). If, however, you don’t feel like slightest stirring of attraction, then it will be unlikely that you will ever develop a sufficient level of attraction to her, no matter how close you become.I hope that my answer has clarified your situation.
