0
0 Comments

Dear Dr.Love:I do not even know where to begin, but here goes. I am 36 years old, the mother of a 12 yr. old girl with a limited divorce, which basically means we are not together, but cannot marry anyone. As such he is obligated to provide certain husbandly perks i.e. health insurance for me until such time as we have an absolute divorce. Mind you this does not exist anymore for all practical terms but it was what my husband served me with and so it is. Last Jan. he served me with absolute divorce papers, but never followed through with his attorney. Believe it or not we are good friends, get along well (probably better than in marriage) which occurred 13 yrs. ago, although we have lived apart in separate states for the past 7 yrs. We are not intimate but can sleep in the same bed. We have travelled together with our daughter without any problems.He tells me I am an outstanding woman, one of a kind yet he won’t get on the pot or off. I have had two intense relationships since split. Both men have told me I am the best, one of a kind–beauty, heart, intelligence, drive, good mother–yet I am alone. One man left me to find himself, found a wife and a baby along the way during our 1 1/2 yr split, but he still wants me in his life. ‘He can’t get me out of his heart and mind.’ His wife and daughter live in Germany. She knows of me and believes me to be the’senior wife’ in fact all of his family and friends believe this to be the case as well.The second man is married for his own’illegal purpose.’ When we met he told me that he could leave her at any time. In my stupidity I believed him. We spent every moment together when we were not at the hospital. He consumed me in every way and as love starved as I was I couldn’t stop him. Well once every month or so he would send time with his’wife’ and not even cover the evidence at his place. I would see condom wrappers in the trash, her hair in the sink on the floor in his brush,etc. and he would tell me I was crazy. Me yes I was!!! But I was still enamored. He would tell me I was the best–a beautiful girl, inteligent, travelled, experienced, mature, a good mother and woman–yet I am alone.Dr. Love I have finally come to my senses and removed both of these men from my life, but along comes an old love with the same line–married, enamored by me wanting sex, companionship and whatever else. This man says I am unique, special unlike any other woman he has ever known–beauty, intelligence, class, flexibility in any situation.We were actually thinking about marriage previously in our relationship and he reflects on that often. His mother adores me and states he should have me for as wife I also know his brother and sister in law, who by the way went to school with the’illegally’ married man I spoke of (This is all by chance because they live on another continent.)Anyway, Dr. Love this long convoluted story is just to say’What is wrong with me.?’ I am beginning to wonder if I have’Doormat’ written over my forehead. Why am I Soo Goood in so many ways, but Not Good Enough for a meaningful monogamous relationship. They won’t leave me. All say’I ‘ll never leave you.’ and they beat me down until I give in at least sexually. The excitment and passion pumps me up, until they leave and I am reminded that I’m all alone and borrowing another woman’s time.I realize this is not the forum in which you can address me Dr. Love, but I appreciate your taking the time to read it anyway. Just putting down this small fraction has helped.Peace and God’s Blessings to You and your work in the New Year.