Dear Dr. Love, I have a question for you. . and I hope somehow you can give me some helpful advice. I live in the Northeast part of the US. . . and have been divorced for 7 years. I raised my beautiful daughter all my myself. . . . and shared custody of her with her mom (who lives only 10 miles away)I’ve been very lonely. . . . devoting my whole life to my precious daughter. I have no family left. . . my dad died several years ago from cancer and my mom died when I was only 13 months old.I tried the online dating service called ‘The One and Only’. After a year of not too many ‘hits’ a woman from Washington state wrote me. At first I nearly dismissed her because she told me she was still married but considering divorce. She told me that her husband was never home (always travelling all over due to his job and their relationship died years ago)I took a chance and developed a friendship. . . . eventually she got the courage to divorce him and she moved all the way to my town in the northeast. She has 2 kids (5 yr old girl 7 yr old boy) and the dad moved to within 50 miles of us so he could see his kids.We dated 6 months and really cared for each other and decided to marry. . . and did.I had a lot of reservations with her kids. My daughter is 10 and quiet. . . her kids are nice but very precocious. My daughter is starting to like her but my wife at times gets miffed at the pressure of her kids and sometimes snaps at my daughter. My daughter gives it right back. My daughter never used to be like this. . .This fall my wife decided to let the kids live with their dad because they wanted to and wanted to go to school where he lives because they disliked the school in my town. Now she misses them since she sees them only Fri nite, Saturday and the dad picks them up on Sundays at 7.My problem is this: She feels that I give my daughter more attention than her kids. . . she expects me to give to hers whatever I give to mine. I disagree. She even told her ex to stop child support (which was a big mistake) it shifts the burden all on me. . . now I must support all of us. . even though her ex works PART time.If I buy my daughter a dress. . . she says I must talk to her first and discuss it. I think this is rediculous. I am responsible for my daughter and buy her whatever she needs (within reason) Now my wife thinks I should ask her ‘permision’ or at least dicuss what I plan to buy for my child before I buy it.Last week I purchaed my daughter 2 flannel dresses (that were on sale) and my wife got upset! She says she feels ‘excluded’ if I do not discuss it with her first. If I buy my daughter a pair of gloves. . . she feels I should buy her kids some too.I think if she can tell her ex to stop child support. . . he can buy his kids the clothes or she can do it. My #1 priority is my daughter and I told my wife this before she stepped one step out of the western state she came from!If I get a dividend check from my company. . . or a bonus check. /. . she feel it is hers too and wants me to pay off her debts with this money. I helped her tremendously last yr when she moved here. . . gave her on the order of $6000 free of charge so she could live and feed her kids.Am I being unreasonable. . or is she?Please advise. Blending families is hard work. . . but I am willing to do what I can to make this work! Thank You. . Merry Christmas and God bless! -Bucky