A year ago I stepped away from a high stress/high paying job, and took a lower paying “day job” with some flexibility.  My wife works from home, but her job grinds them into working long hours for no additional pay.  Once I made my professional change, our weekly routine would involve: me taking our oldest child to school; coming back and taking our toddler to school; going to (and rushing through) my work day; picking up the toddler; taking her to a park, or the food store if needed; making dinner; cleaning up from dinner; tidying the toys and vacuuming; and then finishing any work I put off through the day.  Since I was typically up late catching up on work, I would normally catch the first crying post bed time for the toddler, and would lay on her floor, holding her hand until she fell asleep if needed.  My wife tended to notice the 3:00am crying if it happened, but I would soothe the toddler any time I heard her.  I worked every other Saturday, but on Saturdays off and Sundays I would come down with the toddler once she was up so that my wife could catch up on sleep/get a shower/whatever she needed.  I would make breakfast and clean up from breakfast.

This cycle can be pretty draining, but I don’t mind at all.  My wife has started to complain that I don’t come to bed with her, but I explain that I am finishing the work I didn’t finish during the day due to our schedules.  She will also complain that I fall asleep too early for her on the weekends, but I can’t keep my eyes open some nights.

Am I doing enough?  Am I doing too much, and should scale back so I’m more awake when my wife wants me to be?  This is a juggling act, and I am trying.

Thank you in advance.

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Happy Tired Dad Selected answer as best September 1, 2022