Hi, I am 17 years old i just dropped out of my high school due to conflictional reasons with a teacher. I had a part time job and worked with this guy. We went on one date in which we slept together. After that he decided to be no more than just friends. Which was fine with me cause my boyfriend of a year had just moved back home.We had slept together March,30 it is now May,22 and i have not had my period yet. I am very worried and unable to sleep.But, I am to scared to go get tested. I told the guy that i had slept with about it and he was very worried. But it didn’t last. He was like worried the first week after i had missed my period. He would always call and be of emotional support. Now he does not call at all. I have also slept with my boyfriend since the situation occured.My parents are very religious and set to their morals. They do not believe in abortion. So my question is, what should i do? If i am pregnant how do i handle it? And what is the age on having an abortion?
First of all, I want you to promise me that you will not do anything without thinking through all your options.I can’t tell you what to do, but I will say that you need support during this time. You can go to Planned Parenthood and they will test you for pregnancy and counsel you for free. If you are pregnant, they can discuss your various options.One option you didn’t mention is to have the baby and give it up for adoption, as opposed to having an abortion, which you said goes against your families’ values. Realize that since you were raised by a family that doesn’t approve of abortion, that on some level you must have adopted their values (even if you consciously rebel against them).And, if you have an abortion, you may find yourself plagued with guilt as a result of those internalized values. It sounds like you are leaning in that direction. (You asked what is the age at which you can have an abortion.)I believe that the laws differ from state to state. In certain states you need parental permission prior to age 18. But, Planned Parenthood will tell you for sure. Again, be very careful, consider wisely, talk the pros and cons out thoroughly before having an abortion. You must make sure that you can live with such a choice.Finally, so that you protect yourself in the future, it is very important to learn to not act on impulse. All humans have problems in this area, and all of us must learn this skill. By nature, humans are impulsive. If we are angry, we lash out. If we are fed up, we quit. If we are horny, we screw.I saw several examples of impulsive behavior mentioned in the letter. There was anger at the teacher and dropping out as a result. A first date, that led to pregnancy… Please take notice of what I am saying and work on this or you will live a miserable life, always paying for impulsive acts.I think that this pregnancy was a gift in disguise, a major wake-up call that is inviting you to consider more before acting. Learning this skill will save your life in many ways.So, take this experience as a gift, and consider wisely. If you take your time and do what’s right for you, you will grow from the experience and come through a more mature and solid person.Good luck to you.
