Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love’s 10 Simple Steps for Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship

 “Dr. Turndorf has relationships figured out. If you want a great relationship, you must read her book and follow her 10-step method for lasting love.” 

Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book empire.

Formerly entitled Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First): A Step-by-Step Guide to Resolving Relationship Conflict.    

Even if you’re locked in battle and have been for years, your relationship can change. You can have the relationship you want and you can end the fighting that kills the romance and breaks the connection in relationships!

“If anger and fighting are ruining your dream of a happy marriage (or relationship), Dr. Turndorf’s conflict-resolution program is for you.”
Dr. John Gray, author of the #1 New York Times bestselling Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Dr. Jamie Turndorf’s techniques, based on 30 years of research out of her Center for Emotional Communication, transform conflict into connection for a lifetime of lasting love.

Dr. Turndorf discovered that relationship conflicts could be boiled down to a number of core principles that apply to anyone, regardless of age, sexual orientation, or cultural background. I discovered what creates conflict, what fuels it, and what makes it turn ugly. And she discovered simple methods for resolving conflict and turning it into a positive force that makes relationships stronger instead of breaking them apart.

“This well-researched book offers a thorough, step-by-step program that provides tools for couples to heal even the most troubled relationships.”
— Dr. John Mack, Pulitzer Prize–winning author and former professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School

Heated fighting triggers a biochemical imbalance in men that causes them to flee from conflict. The technical name for this is the Demand/ Withdraw Negative Escalation Cycle, also known as “husband withdrawal.” This is the number one cause of marital and relationship strife, divorce, and domestic violence. Dr. Jamie Turndorf’s techniques, based on 30 years of research out of her Center for Emotional Communication, transform conflict into connection for a lifetime of lasting love.

“This book is mandatory reading for every couple that wants to build lasting love.”
— John Bradshaw, author of the #1 New York Times bestselling, Homecoming

How Kiss Your Fights Goodbye Works:

Since its first publication, this book has saved thousands of relationships and marriages and changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people.

Beginning with simple Cool-Down steps, you’ll learn why husband withdrawal occurs and then how to use Climate Control strategies to reset the relationship. Women will discover the real reason why men never seem to listen—it’s nothing personal—and the secret trick that actually makes them want to listen and stick around to settle disputes.

Dr. Turndorf’s proven conflict-resolution method interrupts the cycle of fighting for the majority of couples, and can also be used to defuse disagreements among friends and family members.
“When Helen and I were fighting, we saw the top couples therapists, to no avail. If we ever get into trouble again, we’re calling you!” – Dr. Harville HendrixNew York Times best-selling author of Getting the Love You Want and Founder of Imago Relationship Therapy


I highly recommend this book! Kiss Your Fights Good-bye is crucial reading for anyone seeking greater understanding and happiness in the murky, volatile domain of human relations. While the insights in this book pertain mainly to romantic or marital relationships, what she’s written here speaks just as well to the many different forms relationships take. In essence, Dr. Turndorf’s book provides extremely valuable information and training on how to relate successfully with other human beings. I speak from experience when I say that in practice Kiss Your Fights Good-bye has really helped me to kiss my fights goodbye. –Wendy

This is a wonderful book. Dr. Jamie Turndorf has distilled potent information from both cutting edge biochemical and brain research perspectives, and well-respected theories of relationship and communication and written a fast-paced, clear guide for anyone wishing to improve the way they relate to others. The information is doubly useful with significant others/spouses, but when applied with some thoughtfulness and humility, will improve relationships at work, with children, and frankly with everyone you might have an occasion to argue with. It is structured so that you develop a clear understanding of what happens during conflict, and straight-forward, real-world solutions to keep you from falling into the same old patterns that create and maintain dysfunction. My husband and I found Dr. John Gottman’s, The Science of Trust extremely useful, but it is a difficult book to go through. Kiss Your Fights Good-bye is a highly accessible read, and the potential benefits are profound and permanent. You don’t have to buy into anything but the idea that you really can choose to give up misery and fighting in your most important relationships! –Susan B.

Having read the book from cover to cover, I believe that this is the best resource I have found for offering sound advice to couples with communication issues. (Previously, I have read several books by prominent marriage counselors on this topic; their works were good, but not as practical as this one).Dr. Turndorf offers ten “simple steps to cooling conflicts and rekindling your relationship.” Depending on the depth of the problem experienced by a given couple, the steps may be simple for some but can be overwhelming for a couple with serious relationship issues. The major focus of the book is to prepare the reader to diagnose communications issues and learn how to cope with them in a positive, problem-solving way. Although my wife and I are in our 52nd year of a happy marriage, I still found several useful tips for reducing stress in our marriage. I strongly advise that any couple facing unresolved communications issues should read this book and apply the author’s recommendations for overcoming the differences. The author provides practical advice for diagnosing problems and working to resolve them. If you want your relationship to survive and thrive, you owe it to yourself and your partner to give these recommendations a fair try. – William B.

“When Helen and I were fighting, we saw the top couples therapists, to no avail. If we ever get into trouble again, we’re calling you!” -Dr. Harville Hendrix, New York Times best-selling author of Getting the Love You Want and Founder of Imago Relationship Therapy.

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