I have had crushes all my life, and I even fell in love once.
Some months ago, I casually met this guy, and somehow, something just clicked from the first couple times we interacted. Heck, from the very first time we did, I said something funny and he snort-laughed and I just knew.
He just felt like home straightaway. He went on holiday after the third time we spoke and I already missed him. I feel like I need to have him around and when he’s not there I miss him like crazy. He’s the nicest, most wholesome person ever, and I feel like I belong with him. At first I felt this more in a platonic way, then it became romantic.
He seemed to have some similar thing going on, but he’s in a complicated relationship so things are quite messy.
The thing is, I have no clue what’s happening to me. It can’t be love, I don’t know him that well, but at the same time, I’ve never felt this way for anyone. It’s not even sexual (I’m asexual), it’s just…him, as a human being, is someone I can’t be without, and I want to see happy (which he isn’t at the moment, and it breaks my heart).
Part of me supposes it’s just an obsession- why? I don’t know. He’s from my same country (I live abroad), but I’m quite sure that’s not the reason why. It’s not even because he’s nice to me, because I had plenty of people being nice to me and I never felt like this.
Part of me thinks that there must be a reason why I felt like this straight away? Like I loved this human being to pieces? Call it destiny or whatever…
I just don’t understand what these feelings are and why they are here, and I feel like I’m going insane!
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