Hi Dr. Turndorf,
First I will give you a little background of my life. I suffer from OCD and Anxiety Disorders. I am 27 years old, and have only been on medication for about 4 years. However, while the medication has been effective, my symptoms have been 95% stopped for only the last 6 months. I have had a couple of girlfriends, but nothing that has lasted. It took several years to find a medication combination that worked this well.
So, I am not very experienced with dating. I am average looking, not really anything to write home about. I have tried online dating like eHarmony and Match. I dont get many responses. I may have some problems with understanding girls because I dont have any experience. There has not been any positive reinforcement for me to be able to understand what part of me that girls find unworthy. I have a creative mind, mostly because I had to in order to make it during the really hard times that I had before I was on medication. These were some really hard and dark days for me. So, I still have some of these emotions that are still really unproductive and it causes me to not be able to understand how to act/pursue/or make girls want to be around me.
That is what the problem is, girls dont want to be around me. I think they read my body language and personality, and they see that I am lonely and that all I want is for one of them to give me a chance and give me some productive feedback so I can make myself better and more worthy of their time. I suffer from depression because I had such bad agoraphobia when I was a teenager. I never went out and partied or played sports. I had/have a low self-esteem because I can't get anything to go right. They anxiety has blocked my cognitive function for so long, that I am lost when it comes to women. I taught myself to survive by withdrawing from from these terrifying experiences by staying inside the house. I feel so hard-headed at times because I cant get this figured out. I just keep going in circles. I am straight foward, almost blunt, because I helps to relieve the anxiety from not being able to comprehend what I am doing wrong. I analyze and think a lot because that is the only thing that works for me.
So, I dont know what women want. I have a 143 IQ. And I have the biggest heart of anyone you would meet. I am also loyal, very loyal. Girls really judge me. They are not very understanding of what I have been through, and very unwilling to give me a chance. They seem to know right away that I am not what they are looking for. Recently a professional athlete messaged me on eHarmony. I was very overwhelmed by this, and I was very polite and sweet, but that seems to not be what she wanted. I was just trying to get to know her and being very considerate so I wouldn't seem like a jerk, but that didn't work. She hardly knew me. And she made that judgement.
I realize I'm not a ladies man, but that is what girls seem to go for. It always seems like girls have better options than me and I get left out. Then I get depressed and I lose my ability to cope with this large amount of possible information that I could be doing wrong. If I dont get feed-back, I make up my own stories of what I did wrong. I get really nervous when I think of me trying to make a girl happy. I've never been able to do that... What do you think? Is it possible for me to overcome my disorder and lead a happy life with a girl?