He's Ignoring Me but He Says it's to Help Me

I've been with my ex since high school. We were best friends and our relationship has been off and on. It's been mainly off and on because of him; he can't let go of the sexual abuse that happened in his past. He's forever thinking that he hurts me when I tell him that he isn't and he doesn't think he's good enough for me. He would always ask questions like why would I choose him to date when there's someone better out there. I would tell him that I don't judge by outside appearance and I look into their hearts and that he was good enough for me. I would tell him that whenever he got down. 
We spent Thanksgiving together and had a wonderful time. I met his family and they liked me a lot and Christmas also. During my break in college he admitted to me that he cheated on me with the person who had sexually assualted him and he felt guilty and dirty and he couldn't forgive himself. I forgave him and told him that I would still stay with him because I was in love with him and will always be in love with him. 
Then we would spend time together but he would always spend them with his friends and when I told him about that he said that he's trying to balance but really doesn't know how. I was his first girlfriend. Before we broke up he said he was always hurting me and that he doesn't want to hurt me anymore. The thing is I was never hurting when I was with him. When I tried to tell him that he didn't say anything and he kept apologizing and then said that he would always be there whenever I needed him.
I called him one day and he told me not to ever call him again and his attitude totally changed. I was confused. One, because I didn't want to break up because I was in love with him and two because it was unexpected. I didn't do anything. I tried calling him and making contact with him but he just ignores me and he says that he's doing it for me and I am totally confused and hurt. My friend's would tell me that he looks happy and everything like he never cared; but I know that deep down he is hurting and he pretends that he's happy when he's not. He was my best friend for years before we dated.
If it's for me then why am I hurting so much and it seems like he isn't? Why does he pretend? I love him so much...Is that a coping mechanism?

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